things i rated & can't shut up about

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6 entries ↕ rank these

  • Lionel Messi poster

    Lionel Messi (2022)

    10 /10

    The anchor of this whole section. Twenty years of making the impossible look like a default setting — the dribble that bends a defence around him, the left foot that treats geometry as a suggestion. I grew up arguing about him and I’ll grow old arguing about him. Doha 2022 finally closed the one chapter that was still open, and watching him lift it felt like a debt the sport owed itself being paid. There is no version of holy that doesn’t start here.

  • 2022 World Cup Final (2022)

    10 /10

    The greatest final ever played and I won’t hear otherwise. Three lead changes, a hat-trick on the losing side, penalties, and the one story football was waiting on for sixteen years landing on the biggest stage there is. I have never been more nervous watching anything. A perfect 10 — the night sport justified itself.

  • Cristiano Ronaldo (2008)

    9 /10

    The most relentless self-improvement machine the game has seen. Made himself great by force of will where others were just gifted it. The other half of the argument that defined two decades — and the rivalry made both of them better.

  • Roger Federer (2003)

    9 /10

    Made a brutal sport look like calligraphy. The one-handed backhand is the most beautiful motion in any game. Watching him was less like watching tennis and more like watching someone get away with something.

  • Usain Bolt (2008)

    8 /10

    Slowed down to celebrate before the line and still set a world record. Made the hardest thing in sport — being the fastest human alive — look like a party. Pure joy, weaponised.

  • Brazil 1–7 Germany (2014) (2014)

    4 /10

    I have genuinely no idea how to rate this. As a contest it collapsed inside ten minutes — a 4 at best. As an event it’s one of the most surreal things I’ve ever watched live: a host nation coming apart on the world’s biggest stage in real time, six goals in a daze. Unrankable. Belongs nowhere on the ladder, so it goes in wtf.